


Loaded Gun

by floorplan91



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Begging, Dubious Consent, F/F, Gunplay, Red Kryptonite, Sexual Content, this trashbin is pretty comfy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:31:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7140269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floorplan91/pseuds/floorplan91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are you so afraid of? I don't bite.” Kara smirks, perfect white teeth flashing in the moonlight reflected from the window. “Come on. It’s just me, your lil sister.” Alex stiffens at that. “Oh? Is that it? Aw Alex, I don't know why you felt so sad earlier. I thought you of all people would have appreciated the reminder we're not real sisters. You're free to indulge in all the fantasies you want this way.” And Kara leans down as she smiles, cruel now, eyes hard and intense. “I don't mind.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loaded Gun

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for the Supergirl fandom. Inspired by this [prompt](http://underthecape.dreamwidth.org/601.html?thread=16729#cmt16729). The title is from the song "Bang" by Armchair Cynics.
> 
> _Soaked in sin,_  
>  _Baptized by your kiss and now I'm born again._  
>  _Bite your lip,_  
>  _Wrap my hands around your head and pull you in._

Tonight is that kind of night where nothing makes sense, yet everything – every single detail – sticks to the edge of your head with precise mocking accuracy. Night made for the thump of suffering, for questions and misplaced expectations and repeated regrets. Kara’s face, sneering, Kara’s words, hurtful. Both seeping into Alex’s consciousness.

And Alex knows she won’t fall asleep easily now, not without the familiar aid of alcohol. When she makes her way toward the living room, lost in thought about the ebbing remains of the bottle of whiskey she had saved for rainy days, she isn’t alerted to another presence straight away, tired as she is.

“What are you doing still up so late?”

There is no trace of the usual caring warmth in the voice, but the familiarity is unavoidable. Alex startles, immediately turns around, stunned to see her sister casually lounging on the couch, eyes fixed on her nails, as if she has no care in the world. As if she wasn’t fighting Alex to death a mere hour ago. The shock is to be expected, but Alex also feels an acute uneasiness in the close proximity, acid burning in her gut. She curses herself for having left her phone in her bedroom. Kara is a threat now, in more ways than one.

Struck speechless by the unexpected appearance, Alex fails to respond. Kara’s gaze is wary, weighing her options, calculating how Alex may react, but there’s something peculiar pulling at the corners of her mouth. She doesn’t look angry, nor vengeful. Alex is legitimately confused, and that’s not something she enjoys.

Hackles raised, she spits out, “What are you doing here?”

Kara stands up slowly, stretching as she does so. She looks around, now fully smiling, not a trace of discomfort in her strong body. “Didn’t think it’d come to this. But I guess we’re bound to have a talk, don’t you agree? Fighting like that, back there, a little bit extreme.” She takes a step closer. “You’ve always said it was me and you, _us_ against the world, and yet…”

Kara doesn’t sound or look all that woeful, more like disappointed and reproaching, but Alex’s heart falls into the pit of her stomach all the same. That was a promise made years and years ago, and it feels dishonest to state it now. Alex stands her ground, but Kara comes closer and closer, until her world is darkening blue eyes and full mouth pulled in a grimace.

“I get it, I’m not mad. You were just doing your job. You wouldn’t really hurt me, would you? You love me. But you should stand up for what is right, Alex. This is me. You should listen to your instincts, not follow blind orders. Who cares about what others said, you know better. And aren’t you such a big girl, Alex, hmm?” The mocking quality of Kara’s voice is new, worse than before, and Alex’s face burns hot when her sister’s gaze settles noticeably on her parted lips.

She takes a step back, involuntary treacherous shivers running up her back – fear, morbid curiosity, it’s hard to tell exactly when the hazy surprise from the encounter hasn’t faded away yet. Alex squares her shoulders, but it’s useless when Kara immediately follows, hunter after her prey. She has her nearly cornered and Alex swears softly at how easily Kara can distract her. _This_ Kara is dangerous, isn’t afraid to speak her mind and plays dirty. Oh, she absolutely can.

Thinking of an escape makes her feel like a coward, and there are very few things Alex hates more than showing weakness, but Kara is not in the right state of mind, and trying to reason with her had already been proved fruitless _and_ painful. Alex needs time to gather her wits and rebuild her armor, try to shelter herself from the hurt.

Her brain itches and itches with the need to move, to find adequate defenses.

She still doesn't know why Kara is here, cutting on purpose. This is not even her wanting to prove a point. She came back for a _reason_. It's like she's enjoying hurting Alex and that is enough to steal her breath away. Not for the first – or last – time she curses Maxwell Lord in her head for his abuse of power.

“What are you so afraid of? I don't bite.” Kara smirks, perfect white teeth flashing in the moonlight reflected from the window. “Come on. It’s just me, your lil sister.” Alex stiffens at that. “Oh? Is that it? Aw Alex, I don't know why you felt so sad earlier. I thought you of all people would have appreciated the reminder we're not real sisters.”

Alex’s stomach drops, waves of despair thundering against her ribs. The ominous feeling in the air increases tenfold, and her head reels. “You're free to indulge in all the fantasies you want this way.” And Kara leans down as she smiles, cruel now, eyes hard and intense. “I don't mind.”

Alex can't help it, she gasps, hard, tries to take a step back but can't. Nearly trips onto her feet as she stumbles into the coffee table - and Alex is not a graceless person, ever.

Anxiety mounts, but there’s nowhere to run, not when Kara clearly has the advantage here. Alex stills rooted in place.

She knows she has to say something, _anything_ , but words fail her. “I—I…” Her throat has gone dry and her tongue is hopelessly stuck to the roof of her mouth.

“Shhh,” Kara hushes her, calm, too calm, lips curved in an unbefitting soft smile, hands reaching out for Alex’s arms. “No need to overthink this. It’s okay.”

Except it’s not. 

_Her_ Kara wouldn’t say these things, let alone think them. _Her_ Kara wouldn’t taunt her in this harsh fashion. This is the Red Kryptonite influence speaking, and Alex undergoes a plethora of mixed emotions, attacks from everywhere. She hadn’t anticipated a confrontation like this, not after the last. If it hurt before, now it threatens to tear her to pieces. It’s one thing to dig up old insecurities and childhood jealousies, another to uproot her deepest shame just like that. As if meaningless. 

“Did you seriously think I didn’t know? Had no idea what goes on in that head of yours when you stare at me? We lived together for years, Alex. I _know_ you. It’s not really a secret.”

Alex struggles to breathe, struggles slightly under Kara’s grasp too. It’s not enough. The unthinkable is happening and she dumbly lets it happen. She’s emotionally and physically drained after the earlier fight with Kara, confidence chipping away. J’onn nearly exposed himself to the world to save her, and they’re not closer to a solution than they were hours before. She can’t—it’s _too_ much.

“Let me go, Kara.” And her voice is somewhat timorous, a little bit broken. Kara smiles wider.

“Are you uncomfortable? We should lose some of this tension, hmm?” The humming at the end is positively obscene, but it does things to her psyche that Alex doesn’t dare to name. “Do you want me to go fetch your vibrator from the bedroom? I know precisely where you hide it.”

That does it.

Slack-jawed, Alex feels as if she has just been slapped. It’s worse than the blows taken while fighting Kara on the street. Humiliation burns through her body. Kara has never spoken like this to her before, ever. Amusement behind the words. The reaction is instantaneous. Bile rises into her mouth, and Alex has to keep in the bitter tears that threaten to stream out of her eyes. But anger centers her, it gives her a purpose.

She jerks away, surprise in her favor for once. Kara, momentarily caught off guard, lets her go. Alex is fast, turns and clutches one of the sidearms she leaves littering around her apartment. Her palms are clammy in tension, but her grip secure, the gun weight familiar and comforting. She’s not delusional to think she can stand a real chance against a Kryptonian, but she still hopes it won’t come to that. She has to trust the bond they share – and it’s _everything_ – in spite of the friction here.

Kara laughs, sharp and clear, catching her chin in her hand, holding Alex firmly, back against her warmth. “Really?” The clicking sound she makes with her tongue grates on Alex’s already frail nerves.

“I never pegged you as the shy type. Why are you resisting this? _Me_?”

The pout is exaggerated, lips shiny with gloss, but there’s something genuine behind the blue eyes Alex adores. She can’t focus on that, can’t fathom she may be the one hurting Kara here—as if this is real. Because if it were, Alex isn’t sure she’d be strong enough to reject Kara.

She bites hard on her bottom lip, stops it from quivering. “This isn’t you, Kara. We’ve been through this.”

“Sure. That doesn’t answer my question,” Kara whispers, fingers still curled possessively around Alex’s jawline.

She presses closer, until they are almost chest to chest. And it’s hard to adjust to this, it’s another kind of intimacy, all her senses assaulted by everything Kara. Kara’s breath on her mouth, Kara’s arm wrapping around her waist.

“I know you think of me when your hands are wet. When you’re filled with want, itching to touch me. You think about my tongue down your body…” Kara’s voice has taken a lovely grave quality, and Alex is helpless to the sounds escaping her throat, choked whimpers in her increased panting.

“Stop.”

Kara chuckles, knowing. “You don’t seem so sure here, sis.”

“It’s not like that!” Alex hisses, at last, lying through her teeth, jolts of fury and embarrassment shaking her shoulders.

It’s quite pointless now, but repressing this feeling has become her second nature. How did Kara realize it? She thought she was careful. Having her shameful desire thrown in her face honestly burns, more than a rejection would have done. 

“Oh? Maybe you’d want to be the one leading. Yes, I can see it. You like when I listen to you, always have.” Kara licks her lips, moves her hand to Alex’s cheek. “Your fingers in my hair, your voice telling me what you like and exactly how to do it, your hips under my palms. Giving away how excited you are getting. If you told me faster, I'd go faster. If you told me to suck you, I'd do that too.”

Fuck.

Her heart lurches in her chest, she knows Kara can hear its erratic beating. Alex swallows past the lump in her throat, turning her head to the side in her limited mobility, skin prickling where Kara caresses her. She has to break free of here fast, or nothing good will come out of this. 

She doesn’t realize she’s started crying, salty trails on her flushed face, until Kara makes a little surprised sound at the reaction earned. It doesn’t happen often, but now the agent just feels adrift, completely unmoored at the lack of control she’s displaying. She can’t get a hold of her emotions, of her mind. She has to preserve what little is left of her dignity, though.

She goes to pull away, but Kara snatches a hand and clamps her elbow tightly again. “What’s the rush? Do you need to be somewhere else?”

“ _Yes_. Away from you,” Alex snarls, and starts thrashing against Kara with all her might, tugging, tugging, a fit of livid frustration over the absurd situation.

“Alex, stop, you’re hurting yourself.” Kara’s eyes are stormy dark now, angry, but she lets go.

Alex can see the bruises already forming, in stark contrast against her pale skin. Normally she would be embarrassed by how weak she must appear, but the pressure on her lungs is too much—she thinks she’s seconds away from full on sobbing. She draws quick breaths to center herself and raises her gun, arm ramrod straight, expression carved in granite.

“You have to go.”

It doesn’t matter how disheveled she looks right now, wet cheeks, heaving chest, heartache, thoughts in disarray. She can be strong. She has to be.

“Why? So you can cry yourself to sleep?” Kara sneers incredulous, angrier too. “I know, Alex. _I know_. You don’t have to pretend any longer.” Her face softens just then, “I’m here.”

Alex’s expression shifts scarcely, but Kara takes notice of it, greedy for any reaction. Her breath is still ragged, gun still pointed at Kara, nostrils flaring, but there’s something akin to wonder on her face now. The woman tilts her head, curious to see her response, eyes fixed on the weapon so close. She would have been shocked at this, Alex daring to aim a gun at her, no matter the circumstances, but after today everything feels fair game.

“I want you too.”

Alex doesn't lower her sidearm, but her position immediately loses some of its tautness. Her eyes, glossy with residual tears, are wide and pleading. Kara nods, stepping closer, fingers brushing over the gun teasingly. 

“You know this can’t hurt me,” she says, a new playful tilt in her voice.

She strokes Alex’s short hair back, watches the flicker of longing coat the eyes she can never stop searching. It’s a beautiful thing, _courage_. It gives you the strength to overcome senseless fears. Alex needs to be strong too, for them.

Kara gives her a few seconds of reprieve, before closing the distance between them in a kiss. _Rao_. This is better than James’s lame attempts at denying his attraction. Alex freezes at the contact, still as marble, but burning hot. The protest doesn’t go far. Kara can feel Alex tremble, bottom lip quivering slightly against her own, needy whimpers locked in her throat.

The barrel is inevitably pushed against Kara’s sternum, no space between, but she welcomes its presence. She presses closer, with her lips, with her body, something innate and primal seizing within.

Alex exhales, and finally responds, losing herself into the unfamiliar yet addicting feeling. Kara opens her mouth, thrilled when Alex appears eager, all of sudden. The contact deepens, and it’s like molten lava rolling through every part of them. Teeth grazing, tongues licking inside. Kara slides her hands everywhere she can reach, can’t help herself – grabs surprisingly strong back, trim waist, threads through dark hair – nothing is enough. Alex, though, is still holding herself back a tad, Kara can tell.

This won’t do.

She sucks on her tongue, languidly, as her hands drift to Alex’s hips, touch a little more brushing here. “Yeah, that’s it, Alex…” she whispers encouragingly between nips, “let’s just enjoy ourselves.” Fingers round to her stomach next, sending a coil of heat right between Alex’s legs. “Are you wet for me yet, hm?” 

Alex can’t help the keening sound as the girl she’d cared for and fiercely protected since she was fourteen presses against her, deliciously hot. She blinks, nerves alight when Kara follows a slow path down to the opening of her shirt, but the unnerving track of apprehensiveness lingers in the air. She still feels like she's spinning out of control, and Kara’s tone reminds her just how out of depth she is right now. _No_ , she needs to get the upper hand here or she won’t survive this.

She pushes Kara away, glad when the alien goes pliant under her palm. Stares into her wild lust-brightened gaze, hearts beating in tandem. She doesn’t process what she’s doing, just grips Kara’s hair hard and kisses her fiercely, burning to erase the damned smirk seemingly permanent on this Red Kryptonite version of her sister. All pretense of being patient flies out of the window as their rapid breathing and low moans fill the room. 

“Rao! I suspected you liked it rough, but fuck, this is nice.”

Alex grits her teeth, hates how even a compliment manages to sound taunting and degrading right now. Kara just grins at her, alluring and dark, sticky with smeared lip-gloss.

“Shut up.”

Her carefully ordered mind is in complete shambles, failing her, torn between enjoying this even as she knows all too well how wrong it must be. Kara can’t keep threatening her with temptation, throwing her weakness in her face as if she’s at fault—Kara is in this _too_ , she forced the situation on her, and it’s just not fair. She would have never opened up this wound and exposed herself.

In a move that surprises them both, Alex raises her gun again, presses it to Kara’s kiss-swollen mouth, makes her draw in a sharp breath. Yes, much better. _Gotcha to stop talking._

Now it’s Alex’s turn to smirk. Obviously it won’t hurt Kara, nor would she want it to, but this is a convenient way to prove her point. Kara stares at her with wide, wide eyes, contemplating her options. Alex can finally feel like breathing. What she's not expecting, though, is for Kara to suddenly open her mouth, eyebrows rising, and take the barrel between her lips, just like that. Tables fast turned on her again, Alex loses her train of thought entirely at the scene.

Kara is raising the stakes, uncomfortably so, but she knows what she is bargaining. It feels heavy, heavier, like the next phase to whatever they’re doing has just been unlocked. She wants this, apparently has wanted this for a while. It gives Alex a surge of confidence, despite the treacherous shudders in her spine.

She stands still, breathless, eyes locked with Kara’s. The stock of the gun feels warm in her palm, slippery in all the wrong ways, when Kara leans down, guiding the barrel in deeper. Hooded eyed, Alex can only watch spellbound as it slides inch by inch into her pursed mouth, heat spreading all over. It’s crude and obscene and nothing like what Alex has imagined – and she did have a lot of years for fantasizing – and yet it turns her on pathetically fast. So she lets Kara have this one, and Kara doesn’t disappoint. Her hands wrap themselves around Alex’s waist, tugging her body even closer, hips to hips, pressing further, gun resting cold and smooth on her tongue.

Alex shuts her eyes, but just for a moment. Doesn’t plan on missing this. Somewhere, not too far below the throbbing inside clouding her judgment, some part of her is still aware that she shouldn't be enjoying this, that she ought to be revolted by the entire affair instead. Not by Kara certainly, _never_ Kara, but the uncouth way it’s happening, after years of calling each other sisters. This part spirals and curls up sickly in her stomach, and yet it’s not enough to make her stop.

Nothing can be enough now, she suspects.

Alex may hate herself forever for being weak, but not even the burning shame can stop her from trembling enticed at the sight of her gun disappearing between pink lips. Kara kind of sucks on the top of the barrel, teasingly, never breaking the eye contact, humming at the sting of bitterness on the muzzle. At first Alex doesn't do anything, _can’t_ , just let Kara move at her own pace, but then—  
Then her fingers suddenly twist into Kara’s suit, helping, pushing the gun further into her mouth in one single thrust. Kara is surprised, back arching out, low groan slipping unrestrained.

She wants this, she wants this. She asked for this even.

Alex starts dragging the gun in and out, back and forward again, looking with strange satisfaction upon her thoroughly flushed and debauched sister. _Superhuman_ sister that just decided to come here, waited for Alex even, all to get them to this point. But Kara is harmless now, submissive in a way that shocks and inflames Alex all the same. It’s like a switch has been turned off. Kara doesn’t talk back, doesn’t fight or hurts, full attention solely on the other woman. Synergy.

Every time the barrel goes in, prodding until Kara’s eyes well with tears, Alex sighs, want meeting in the middle, leaving her glowing red-hot, warming and needy. Her hips buck against Kara’s, who nods desperately, bobbing her head too, leaving more sloppy sheen on the gun.

Spit drips down her chin, greedy little slurping sounds filling the air. That only spur Alex further, each whine and whimper muffled, and the frenzy of the whole ordeal makes Alex just ache and ache.

She draws her sidearm away, wetly, smearing it down Kara’s cheek. Her heart is wildly out of control. Kara just pants at her, waiting like a little good girl for instruction. Alex shifts uncomfortably, looks away, swallowing thick when she feels Kara’s hand at the back of her neck, fingers going up and down distractingly.

“Touch me,” it’s rasped out. “You want to.”

Yeah, okay. Okay.

If Alex were a better person, _stronger_ , she'd make them stop immediately. Call J’onn, ask for back-up. They’d have Kara restricted, turned into herself again in no time. It’s the right thing to do.

But then… Alex may never get to see Kara like this again, craving and shaking and ready for her. She may never get to feel Kara’s kisses, the thought unacceptable.

She may never see Kara fall apart under her touch – and if this is the only night they have, she’ll take it.

“Take off your suit,” she whispers, moving a step back.

Kara doesn’t need to be told twice. At super speed, she stands before Alex in all her beautiful glory in no time, down to her underwear and— _fuck_ —she’s wearing matching black lingerie, all lace and supple thighs and tight stomach, soft breasts heaving. Skin, so much perfect skin on display for Alex.

Where did she get that? Kara doesn’t normally wear these things, Alex knows. She licks her dry lips, sliding her hands over strong shoulders and arms, muscles rippling beneath her exploration.

She leans down and sucks on her sister’s neck a little, nibbling on the damp skin with affection. She can do it. When she meets Kara’s eyes again, pupils-wide, the familiar smile that greets her steal her breath away. Her throat closes on a sound, their minds becoming one, Kara’s smell surrounding her completely.

And nothing else matters right now.

The feeling of cool metal in her hand reminds her of the reality of the situation though. Not exactly the stuff of romance. Alex lifts her wet gun again, tracing it down on Kara’s jaw, pulling the safety trigger. The click has Kara’s mind slowing, nipples hardening. Alex can tell, the silky see-through bra barely covers her.

Kara looks up through her lashes, and Alex’s heart lurches hard between ribs, flutters in rebellion. She curls her free hand into a fist, and just uses her gun to graze her sister. She circles the hardening nipple over the material, slowly, watching the sensations play out on Kara’s face. She feels feverish with want, the burning feeling working its way through her system fast, too fast. Kara follows right behind, undulating her hips as Alex teases her.

“A-Alex…”

She stops for a moment, using her other hand to lower one lacy cup down, baring Kara for her to see. Hesitation gnaws at her. Alex doesn’t know why Kara is so trusting right now. She spoke about freedom earlier, of feeling unrestricted, finally so present and focused, open to be her real self apparently, able to do whatever she wanted. Powerful. Seems like a paradox to let Alex lead this, whatever it is anyway.

She tenses, exhales.

Kara is used to being invulnerable, and had been thriving with power under the Red Kryptonite effect for hours by now. Yet, here she trembles under Alex’s attentive gaze. The older woman wonders for a moment if maybe, just maybe Kara had felt lonely like this. Hurt that her own family turned on her too.

She shakes her head, has to clear her thoughts to do this.

She traces Kara’s other nipple with the muzzle, pointing the gun and pressed it down, covering her nipple entirely. The cold steel immediately hardens it ever further, and Kara moans again, loud, head thrown back.

Alex tosses the weapon away, and unceremoniously drops to her knees, parting Kara’s thighs, gripping flesh with enough force to bruise any mere mortal. Kara shimmies out of her panties, all too eager at this point. Alex had sort of gotten used to the scent of sex in the room, but now right between Kara’s legs, she’s completely distracted by it, her sister’s arousal hitting her full force. She’s so slick and ready, Alex just can’t think, too light-headed by the additional confirmation that Kara wants her.

She was planning on dragging it out, use just the tip of her tongue through soaking folds, but she can’t, not now when she’s desperately hungry for a taste herself. She’s dreamt of this since she was sixteen and can hardly reel in her nervous shaking.

As her eyes meet blue ones, she wonders if Kara likes seeing her this way, if she’s finally getting what she came here for. It doesn’t feel awkward, and Alex presses her face closer, thrilled when Kara releases some choked moans. She lavishes hungry strokes all over, tongue circling Kara’s clit, pleased at the taste, because of course—it’s _Kara_.

Alex’s intensity growing, Kara’s breathing more frantic, hands winding through Alex’s bob, hips rising and falling like waves. 

When Alex finally licks inside, Kara is a sobbing mess, legs trembling. Alex’s jaw aches but she loves that her face is shiny with wetness now, and that Kara is so beautifully unrestricted, riding her mouth with abandon. Alex groans in retaliation and the vibrations thrum deliciously straight into Kara’s clenching sex.

“Fuck, Alex!”

Her lips wrap around Kara’s clit and suck, the blonde’s breathy gasps going higher and higher in pitch, until her tremulous hot panting stops and the only sound she can make is that of _breaking apart_ entirely. Alex’s movements slow but only stop when Kara pushes none too gently at her shoulder.

“Rao, Alex… you love eating pussies.” It’s a statement, words quavering out of her mouth, low key and sultry.

Alex flushes despite herself, licks her lips, barely manages not to react at her sister’s taste still strong on her mouth. Now that Kara is satisfied, she’s not sure how to act, fire receding. It’s like the vulnerability seen in Kara has poured out and washed off. Alex could fake control during, but Kara is staring her down, smug now, and her heart spikes up in anxiety once more.

No, Alex doesn’t know what to say, what to think even. But one thing is for sure. They're not done here. 

Kara shows no sign of slowing or going away. Alex resents the jolt inside her chest, feels it fill densely as she breathes in and rises to her feet unsteady. She can’t look away, Kara’s gaze too knowing, all-pervading.

In her more deluded times, years ago, she’d allowed herself the images of a naked Kara in her arms, spent and happy, glowing with a different kind of buzz, blissful smiles and love-beats touching. The Kara in front of her is a completely different beast, proud in an uncompromising fashion, almost arrogant in the jut of her hips, arms crossed over her bare chest. She doesn’t seem to mind her sticky thighs, nor the gloom in Alex’s eyes.

And Alex wishes she could regret this, but her self-loathing hasn’t reached that far yet. It seems Kara has enough of the silence, though, as she pulls her up by her shirt, dragging her against her own body so forcefully that they nearly stumble. Kara catches herself at the last second, and it’s then that she kisses Alex, slipping her hand behind a warm neck. She feels her sister tense anew, hears her breath hitch, the warmth of it dancing uneasily against her lips. She just presses more insistently when Alex doesn’t reciprocate straightaway, licking at the seam of her lips, purring at her own taste.

It’s getting hard to think all over again, but Alex does process the fact that she’s kissing Kara for a second time, never mind when her defense dropped exactly. It’s harsher now, rough and wet. All teeth and tongue, the taste of rusty blood in her saliva, lips tingly in a pleasant enough way.

“I think it’s better to take this to the bedroom,” Kara says easily when they part, as if it’s something trivial that happens every day.

Alex’s thoughts seem to have shattered her vocal chords on their way up her throat, so she can only nod, dumb when faced with the reality of _more_. They walk toward her bedroom without touching, and despite Kara’s nudity, Alex is the one feeling vulnerable and naked with each step taken. Under examination. Cold.

Kara’s eyes peek through darkness, perfect skin glowing in the dim halls. Alex’s bedroom is still bare, a photograph on her nightstand the only source of warmth. Not surprisingly is an old one of Kara and herself, sun behind them, smiles stretching for days. They look happy. Alex wonders if they’ll ever be, once this night is over.

The first confrontation has been brutal, shocking, and Kara’s accusation had hit her hard. But there was one sacred element Alex held onto: Kara loves her, and whatever vicious words had been thrown around, they came from a bad place, of anger and doubts and desire to retaliate and hurt others. Kara’s mind is affected, it wasn’t her fault. Yet now, everything she said in the last hour had been only the truth.

She tries to breathe but all she feels is an ache in her chest and need pooling in her groin, and neither eases when Kara commands her to strip. 

“Please,” she adds, a jeer. Alex doesn’t move though, and Kara sighs. Her next smirk is less biting. “Do I have to do everything around here?”

She is still grinning as Alex’s shirt rips off her body, falling in tatters to the floor. Alex has the mind to stop her gasp and glare instead, rightfully so.

“I liked that.”

“Mmh, you looked nice, but I prefer this, if you don’t mind.” Alex can’t figure the shifting expressions on Kara’s countenance, it’s not just lust and that’s more troubling and hard to read. “I’ll get you a new one.”

Kara stares at her face then, as she trails the tips of her fingers down Alex’s chest, grazing over abs that tighten unconsciously at the touch. She hums again. She loves Alex’s physique, she knows she’s trained hard to get here.

Alex is tentative at first, but she brings her arms around Kara’s neck all the same, pecks her on her jawline. She wants to infuse tenderness here, despite how it started, but she’s rebuffed by her sister with a clicking sound.

“Not so fast, sis.”

The confusing weight on Alex’s chest doubles in size, grappling around her lungs, and it squeezes and squeezes and squeezes.

“What…” Alex trails off when sure hands move on her back, down to her ass, to the front of her jeans, pop its button open.

The request is a silent one, but clear nevertheless. Alex tugs her pants down, the “everything” uttered forcing her to drop her briefs too. Next her sports bra. Kara is smiling now, but Alex looks away.

“Satisfied?” Her voice is not as strong as she’d like.

“Not quite.”

Kara closes her palms over pert breasts, tugs painfully on her nipple, bending to lick at the other. Alex tenses fast, curling towards the younger woman at the sensation. It feels too good too fast, broken moans slipping out against her will, heat washing over her skin and down further into her belly. She didn’t think it was possible to feel this deeply.

“Kara…”

And Kara releases her with a soft, wet pop before traveling to the full underside of her breast. Little mewling noises keep escaping, embarrassingly, as Kara nuzzles her flushed skin, sucking and nibbling before returning to its peak with a sigh of pleasure. Her hand skims over Alex’s ribs to knead her neglected breast, surprisingly gentle now, brushing her thumb over and over until Alex doesn’t know what to do with herself.

The desire echoes through every inch of her, until she feels her whole body stretched taut with sudden craving to be touch _downdowndown_. There, _please_.

But Kara takes a step back instead, Alex’s arms erupting in goosebumps at the sudden coldness.

“Now, you’ve been pretty nasty toward me today, wouldn’t you say Alex? I’m not mad, as I told you earlier, but I still need to make sure you won’t change your mind. I’d like to think you would agree with me regardless, but I’m not so sure.” Alex barely manages not to fidget, keen on more skin contact, but Kara keeps going, almost conversationally. “Here, you’ve been cooperative so far, true, but that’s only because this is something you want as well, we both know that.” Kara’s smile is shark-like as she pushes Alex on the bed, watches her tumble. “I want to see if you’re willing to listen to me.”

“Kara—”

“Mh!” Kara hushes her with a knowing laugh, “No, see I talk here, you _listen_. Seems you can’t follow orders if they come from me.” Alex flexes her jaw, tries biting her tongue. “Better. Now show me you can be good.”

The tone used is brazen, gaze shameless. Alex tenses again, waits for a prompt that isn’t coming. She sighs, blushing already. “How?”

Kara crawls on top of the bed, close but not quite touching, grinning like Alex’s just revealed she holds all the answers to the universe. She drags her middle finger between the woman’s legs with no warning, through her soaking folds, brushing it past her clit, barely any pressure before she pulls away. It's shining and watching Kara suck it into her mouth makes Alex feel dizzy.

“You want more?” It’s unnecessary, yet Alex finds herself nodding. “Be a dear and lay back.” At the fast compliance, Kara smiles pleased and adds, “Now spread yourself for me.”

Startled, Alex feels the burning swell, red splotches all over her neck at the lewd command. She swallows, but after one moment or two of hesitation, she brings her knees close to her chest, effectively exposing herself to her sister’s eager eyes. She fights the urge to move, cover herself, and is rewarded when Kara brings her hand back to where she’s pulsing, slick and hot.

It doesn’t last long, because all too soon Kara is moving away, again. It’s a new particular brand of torture it seems, on and on, and Kara is enjoying the sight a little bit too much. Alex actually growls the next time she stops her ministration, frustration mixed in with pleasure. “Kara! Keep going.”

It’s less of a plead and more of an order, but Kara decides to overlook it, furthering her teasing. She loves watching the agent, usually tightly in control, so askew now. A glimpse of a smirk, wicked and raw, touches her lips as she positions two fingers at the wet opening, just enough to make Alex savor what may happen if she complies. “Beg.”

One word is enough.

“Fuck you.”

“Ooh!” At this Kara chuckles, genuine mirth in her eyes. “Feisty. Thought this attitude was reserved for others, not me. I’m wounded.”

Alex tries to move away, but Kara is quick to stop her, grips her around the waist till she halts any following movements. “I thought I made myself clear. I thought you wanted to prove me wrong. You still have to earn this, after all.”

Kara’s gaze is demanding, challenging, and Alex has to look away. Part of her wants to run from this, choose comfortability, to somehow break the spell she’s under. Just flee. But the other part, the wild part that has been contained and repressed for so long, only wants to relish and enjoy the delights this altered version of her sister can offer. Stay, _forever_ if possible. Her pride struggles, unwilling to admit defeat.

“P-please.” 

The halting speech is more strained than what Kara would have liked. She shakes her head, “You can do better.”

“Please Kara… Fuck me. I need this.”

Bingo.

The begging may not be all that genuine, but Kara accepts it nevertheless. Hearing Alex swear is tantalizing enough. This is more about changing their dynamic than hurting her with words now.

Lifting Alex by her thighs, she kneels and thrust her own hips upward as she brings Alex’s down. The angle is perfect and she immediately slips one finger inside, thrilled by the obvious wetness she’s greeted with.

The reaction is electrifying and direct. Alex arches her body, moaning deeply, chest vibrating in satisfaction, her breasts heaving and heaving. 

“Yes, yes yes yes yes!” It’s repeated like a breathy staccato over the sounds of sheets rustling and harsh panting.

Kara actually has trouble stopping, aroused as she is. She’s always known Alex was beautiful, but now, she finds her oddly at her best, flushed and gasping. Completely at her mercy. Sweating in the dim glow of the lights hanging over the bed, mouth open in whimpers, nails digging scarlet marks on her skin. 

Alex sobs at the interruption, clenching on the retreating finger.

“Shhh, I’m sorry,” Kara coos, brushing her other hand on feverish skin, quiets the shaking. “I still haven’t heard you say it.”

Teasingly, she strokes wet digits around Alex’s labia. Alex tries to chase it, grinding down on the fleeting pressure, but Kara is always faster. That's not what she asked for, so she holds Alex down until she's forced to stay still. Can’t move.

“C’mon,” she repeats herself, “Tell me and I'll give you all, whatever you need. How many fingers you want, my mouth, my tongue…”

She pauses, waits to have Alex’s full attention, dark hooded eyes struggling to stay open. It’s hard to imagine the damage she’s about to cause. She smiles,

“Say _it_. Say you’re in love with me.”

Alex is sure her heart stops right here right there, as it begins to shed layers after layers, bleeding out her innermost worries in stark clarity. This—this is worse than admitting an attraction. It’s the end of everything. She trembles, real fear seeping in her bones at Kara’s words. It doesn’t sound as if Kara is taunting her, mocking her feelings, but the effect the request has on her is still alarming.

“If you tell me,” Kara starts, softer, gaze sweeping down at Alex’s body, lingering far too long on her still splayed legs, “it’ll be so good. I’ll be so good. I just want to hear the truth from you, for once.”

Alex’s eyes have filled with tears, and she can only nod defenseless, admits it subtly, shattered beyond belief. She startles when Kara surges ahead, kisses her fiercely, holding her in her arms. And despite the erroneous situation, against her better judgment even, Alex relaxes, comforted by her sister’s closeness and warmth. It won’t last – she knows tonight is about something different altogether – but it’s nice to be held for a moment.

It doesn’t feel like rejection and shame and _I'm so disappointed in you, Alex, you're her big sister, it's your job now, now, now,_ sisters.

Alex swallows with difficulty, but her need to have Kara, decipher her motivation beyond lust grows stronger than her sense of self-preservation. The inevitable craving has floated to the surface at this point, denying it now is out of the question.

A hand around her bicep breaks her reverie, and she’s pushed down again. “See? That wasn’t too hard. You can be good.” Kara’s smile tugs at her heartstring. The shift in mood has her reeling.

Kara settles between Alex’s legs, keeps one hand on her hips, steadying her. She leans down and softly kisses her below her ear, then her fingers are moving again, delving into slickness. Alex exhales with a shudder, closing her eyes. It’s gentle at first, slower than what Alex had imagined and yearns for now, but Kara’s thumb grazes and pinches her clit on the way out, each time, and the sensation is stingingly delectable.

Kara is a vision. She moves like she can keep up all night, and Alex knows she can probably fuck her until both their control shreds. The slow pace is taking a toll on Kara’s patience, though, and like a rubber band pulled too far, she’s bound to snap. Alex _wants_ it, feels like she’s owed that at the very least.

This tempo leaves her in a state of wondering. Words rush out at once, because now that she’s leaped into the abyss she can’t stop. “Kara, just… please, more.”

“Mmh, what do you want?” Kara almost sounds slurred, the collected manners from before distant miles away, and Alex flushes thinking this is affecting her sister as much as it does her.

“Go faster.” Alex clasps the moving wrist between her hands, trying to ignore the pleading in her voice.

And Kara complies, starts thrusting fast, using her hips to help go hard and deeper, making Alex thrash and buck helplessly, taking it all, overwhelmed and appreciative as thoughts about control slip away.

Kara stops. It’s so sudden and unexpected that Alex has no time to react, before Kara enters her again with three fingers. Oh. It burns for a moment, and Alex wails with it, whimpering out nicely for Kara’s touch. 

“Rao, you’re lovely,” Kara pants, biting fair skin where neck meets the shoulder. Her thumb makes tight little circles, and Alex clenches, lifting her hips higher, silently asking for more.

They both moan when Kara forces a fourth finger inside, filling her sister completely, testing her limits. And she doesn’t stop to let her get used to it, she just thrusts and thrusts into the crescendo of the brunette’s delirious cries. Alex arches her back and everything else quiets down for a while, because it’s like she can feel _everything_ now and it’s too much. Every inch of Kara’s digits pumping in and out, the slide of Kara’s damp skin against hers, the brush of her long hair on her chest, the shared air between them, the wet noises as Kara’s knuckles drag out and against her swollen lips. And it’s so good after the agony of waiting that Alex forgets herself completely.

Her movements stutter under the never-ending sensation, heat and pressure at their peak. Darkness penetrates her vision for a moment as her heart drums furiously in her ribcage. So close Alex can taste it. Her boneless hand flops out and she manages to grip her sister’s arm. “Kara…" She utters her name like a prayer, but words die on her tongue as she topples over the edge and into infinite darkness.

She still feels spun out of orbit when she comes round again. Still hot with shame and afterglow, but that endless hungry clatter usually at the back of her head near Kara is nowhere to be found now, momentarily sated.

There is a loaded silence between them, though, one they can’t ignore, and it makes Alex wonder if that’s it. All over. If Kara is going to leave now, pretending nothing happened.

The thought is poisonous and she turns away, sharply, keen on leaving the comfort of the bed to take a much needed shower. She doesn’t mean to, but her eyes flick to Kara’s face anyway, and the sheer intensity she finds in the blue gaze steals what’s left of her breath. She feels petrified.

“Don’t.”

It’s not much, but Kara’s tone gives away her own confusing thoughts. Alex can’t help it, feels a small thrill of nervousness and excitement run down her spine. She can’t look away and she can’t move. Kara scoots closer, raising a hand toward her face. It’s warm against her skin, and Alex aches with the welcome knowledge that Kara won’t leave. Not yet.

She knows her sister can hear the rhythm of her heart beating out the words she doesn’t say – can’t fathom _how_ – but it doesn’t matter.

The touch is still electrifying, and they begin again, drawn like moths to a flame.

Like a paradox, Kara’s hands feel like absolution, her name the only salvation out on Alex’s lips. With every kiss, the debt is paid off, guilt washed away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts.  
> Come find me on [tumblr](http://floorplan91.tumblr.com/).


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